Dear Cousing Poppy,
I do love my Granny, but she is simply wrong. The hurricane wasn't nothing. It kept my mummy and puppaw away from me for two whole days. I hope Uncle Bud liked the T-shirts I packed for mummy and puppaw to wear. They had my picture on them. They did not know it, but it was part of my diabolical plan to make him feel bad. I don't think it worked though. He is tough as nails.
While I do appreciate Aunty Alana and Uncle Nate coming to look after me, I had to show them that the situation was not to be repeated. I tried my hardest to make life difficult for them. I went on strike and played dead throughout my walks at the most inopportune times. You know, in front of lots of people so the two legs look like they are torturing you and all the passersby look at them like they are cruel; in the middle of a busy intersection (you have to time that one just right so the light is about to change and the two legs get panicky); whining into all ours of the night; pretending to like the howling wind and rain so that Aunty Alana has to stay out in the rain and has to worry about branches falling on her head, etc., etc. I am fairly certain that those two will not be coming to stay again ;-)
I had it all worked out in my mind how I would ignore the two legs when they returned from abandoning me, but I just couldn't pull it off. I was overjoyed and the beans got the better of me. I pawed at mummy and puppaw and made them hug me over and over again. I went to mummy a bit more to show puppaw who is the boss. Now he will spend the rest of the week telling mummy that she hogs me and he will try to give me more attention than mummy does to win me back.
I know, all this calculation sounds unlike me, but I have grown up since I have been left alone and someone must pay! Aunty Alana did not let me sleep on my own bed! She is not welcomed back...although I still love her.
I am feeling better now, because Mummy and Puppaw keep saying that they will never leave me again. Although as I write this I am sitting alone at home in my crate. So much for their promises. But, I know they will be home by 6 or there will be H__L to pay.
Your big cousin, De Mugs.
P.S. Please eat your food, Poppy. I am worried that we won't be able to share clothing when I arrive if you keep shrinking.
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